Trusting God When You Don’t Feel Like It

image

Well hello there! Happy Monday to all and to all, happy Monday. I cannot believe I haven’t blogged in almost a year or should I say posted a blog in a year because I’ve been writing lol. My last blog published was June 16, 2015, and since then, a lot has happened. Let’s see, my son is doing well, he is maturing gracefully… hopefully. Great news as a parent, Chris decided to be baptized on his own so he was baptized on February 14th, 2016. Besides having an almost 9-year-old son, he is getting older and I am getting younger. I started a new job in October so I will be blogging about trusting God in the workplace here shortly.In the past couple of months, I have traveled to Washington DC for ministry purposes. I traveled to Memphis, TN with my sisters and mother for Mother’s day. Last Monday for Memorial Day, I traveled to Austin and rode a ski boat and Jet Ski.

In the past couple of months, I have traveled to Washington DC for ministry purposes. I traveled to Memphis, TN with my sisters and mother for Mother’s day. Last Monday for Memorial Day, I traveled to Austin and rode a ski boat and Jet Ski (waverunner). That was my first time riding both and I had a very scary experience. Matter of fact, this is the most dramatic story of my life this year lol. I don’t know what possessed me to operate a small little skinny boat in the middle of a LAKE!!! Whatever high I was feeling that day was quickly condensed once I realized I just flipped off the Waverunner and was in the middle of the lake… the deepest part of the lake probably. I just knew a shark was on its way to chop on my legs, but I realized Sharks are in salt water. Long story short, I survived and after a week of my experience with the Waverunner, I realized I was being overly dramatic and it wasn’t that scary lol. I will admit I was a little traumatized and dramatic after the flip lol, but it’s not that scary after I replayed what happened in my head a million times, but next time, I prefer the big party boat, the one that goes extremely slow. Praise God for His protection.

Furthermore, I have grown as a woman, a mother, and an individual. Before 2016 started, I was asking God what is it that he wants me to do in this season because just like others, I’ll pull our pen and paper and list my new year’s resolution, but it dawn on me that it may be a new year, but is this a new season for me? I’ve been feeling this burning sensation of hunger for the things of the Lord, then again, it’s like back to the basis of seeking Him first (Matthew 6:33) which I am ok with. I want to walk more in transparency with God and to be more vulnerable to Him, the Person who sees my heart and truly knows me. I thought I walked in 100% transparency and I was vulnerable to God, but circumstances said differently. Trials have a way of showing us our hearts and motives. Nevertheless, God is still faithful and He cares about the details of my life and your life as well. So good news, God is not intimidated by our thoughts and ways. He can handle our little emotions and opinions. In fact, Psalms 139 says, “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I Rise You perceive my thoughts from afar”. Even so, there is nothing that scares God, not even the words you don’t say out loud.

Furthermore, I have grown as a woman, a mother, and an individual. Before 2016 started, I was asking God what is it that he wants me to do in this season because just like others, I’ll pull our pen and paper and list my new year’s resolution, but it dawn on me that it may be a new year, but is this a new season for me? I’ve been feeling this burning sensation of hunger for the things of the Lord, then again, it’s like back to the basis of seeking Him first (Matthew 6:33) which I am ok with. I want to walk more in transparency with God and to be more vulnerable to Him, the Person who sees my heart and truly knows me. I thought I walked in 100% transparency and I was vulnerable to God, but circumstances said differently. Trials have a way of showing us our hearts and motives. Nevertheless, God is still faithful and He cares about the details of my life and your life as well. So good news, God is not intimidated by our thoughts and ways. He can handle our little emotions and opinions. In fact, Psalms 139:1-3 says, “You have searched me, Lord, and You know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH ALL MY WAYS.” Even so, there is nothing that scares God, not even the words you don’t say out loud.

So sis or brothers in Christ, pour out your heart to Him and start by being honest with Him. I remember after being at my current job for a month, I was placed in a new position, a position that I felt like it was going to hinder my plan of moving up to a higher position within the company. Apparently, God and I had two different plans because this was not what I envisioned. I feel like I was demoted into a position that was not going to get me to my goal quicker. I vented to God and cried to him and explained my reasons to why I should not be in that position and why it was a good idea to keep me in my original position, but I said nevertheless not my will but your will be done. My exact words to God was, “I don’t like your plan, but help me to like it and help me to obey it with my whole heart”. You may not like God’s plan for your life or for a particular situation, but you have a choice to make – regardless of your emotions. I have to believe that he knows what’s best for me and if I believe God gave me this job or put a particular relationship in my life that he knows what’s best for me way better than what I know for myself.

Sometimes I just have to ask myself, “If God is not in a rush or hurry to bring something to pass I prayed for then why am I?” Let’s choose to take it a step at a time and trust Him. Let’s start by being vulnerable and allowing Him to continue healing our heart of trust issues, fear, and hurt. If you need prayer or someone to touch in agreement with you on a particular situation, please do not hesitate to email me at cultivatedbylove@gmail.com. God bless you!

Scripture to meditate on:

  • Psalm 139
  • Matthew 6:33
  • 1 Peter 5:6-7
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s