Hello Peeps, I hope everyone is having a great and fantastic Wednesday. To some, I may have said happy New Year and to others, I may have not so with that being said, HAPPY 2017!!!!
I wanted to share a few things that have been on my heart and some things God has been working on with me personally. So here it goes… For the past 3 or 4 years, I struggled to find this balance of serving God and my daily life duties after I left a really powerful church. When I was apart of my old church, I felt like God had really stirred up the prophetic gift in me and used me on a different level, but after I left, I saw how inconsistent I was when trying to spend quality time with God and balance being a working single mom. I knew I was stuck in the past because when I talked to old friends or new, I would speak about past miracles and moves God did and how God used me (not boasting, but to share testimonies) which was great but the problem was I was stuck on what God did and wasn’t acknowledging Him on what He was doing currently in my life. I never felt so much alone until I entered that season of being by myself with just me and my son. My friendships started to dwindle, my familiarity became a strange and uncomfortable place to be in. I felt so distant from God even though I would talk to Him daily, pray throughout my day but I didn’t spend that “sit before Him and have an intimate time” with Him. See I was trying to use old strategies from a previous season for a new season God brought me in so I became frustrated with the process and in a battle with God playing tug-a-war. He wanted me to mature in my service to Him and here I was trying to keep the same old service while rebuking the devil not knowing it was God pulling those things out of my life. I didn’t understand at that time, but it overwhelmed me is still do to see His faithfulness towards me and throughout my life and the seasons He brings me through. Yes, I know the Word say, while we are faithless, God remain faithful and that’s what overwhelms me is His consistency to love me even when my worship wasn’t there or I didn’t keep my word to study His word, He didn’t change His pursuit of me when my commitment change, but constantly pursued me until I pursued Him back. I didn’t understand why I had to be alone and didn’t understand why was it so hard to stay still for an hour and spend that time with Jesus daily when I use to spend hours in one setting praying and studying the world of God. I didn’t understand why it was hard to fast a meal when I use to fast a whole day so at the end of the day so what I did was compare my past and present and saw my current walk with the Lord as a failure. What I didn’t see was that God was tearing down barriers and walls I built up throughout my years. Tearing down old religious things and traditions that I learned about Him along the way and about Christianity. He was making me dependent on Him and showing me how to serve Him with my whole heart on a new level and not to look for things, people or relationships to fill me but cling to Him to fill me even more. Instead, I let the enemy put the thoughts that God was done with me and that He ran out of assignments for me to do so it plague my mind to the point I was waiting for God to take me off this earth because I felt like I didn’t have a purpose on earth. I felt like I was a terrible mom and my son deserved to have someone better. I silently struggled with depression..again, reaching out for someone to help me, to fix me, to rescue me, but God didn’t allow no one to come to my rescue, He didn’t allow pills or a therapist to fix me, instead He healed me and reminded me that He rescued me when He sent His son to die on the cross for my sins and that He is with me no matter how far I think I have gone. His word was and is my prescription. He literally gave me Psalm. 139: 9b-10 which says “If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast”. So if you’re struggling with feeling far from God or forgotten, please focus on God’s words and not your circumstances. Whatever you’re going through, the Word of God can fix it! God is near and He loves you! He has compassion for you and understands what you’re going through. No matter how far you think you have drifted from God, you can’t drift too far because God is everywhere all the time. He’s closer to you than your breath! David said if I settle on the far side of the sea, the sea yall. The sea is deep and wide and I’m not trying to go there physically but God is where we are in our loneliness and He is calling you to reach out to Him. He is calling you cry to Him and tell Him about your problems. He is the Fixture and the author and finisher of your faith. He is NOT going to leave you the same and He is NOT going to leave you broken. He is for you and not against you. Our minds can be a very dark and lonely place until we let God in. To be honest and even more transparent with you guys, sometimes my world seems upside down and some days, I feel like I’m drowning in issues, and other days I feel overlooked, but the most important thing that matter is that I run to God who is my resting place, my validation and I remind myself of what God has said instead of what my fickle and faulty feelings are portraying. We have to believe the Word of God and live by it. If you feed on it, you will reap the benefits of the fruit of your sowing and labor. For example, I left work last Thursday feeling inadequate so I’m in my car crying and telling God how I feel and John 15:16 popped up which say “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit–fruit that will last–and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.” See I meditated on John 15 a few months ago feeding my spirit and here is a sprout popping up when it was needed. So Here I am, over here crying about other imperfect humans and here is a perfect God who thought I was worth dying for choosing me to be on His team. He chose me and He chose you and call each one of us to go and bear fruit that will last. I was so encouraged and empowered by the living word of God. Once I made it home and got situated, I began to worship and praise God for who He is. Those thoughts were sent back to hell with Satan so they can burn together.
As Christians, our lives isn’t going to be easy and we shouldn’t be expecting a break from life but trials and fiery darts. James tells us to count it all joy when we face various trials (James 1:2). God work is best seen in our lives when we are weak and surrendered to Him. If we remain strong all the time, we would never see God’s strength! We have to humble ourselves and invite Him in no matter what. He’s ready to move in your life some more but you have to let Him in to do that. So I pray in the name of Jesus that the Holy Spirit will arrest your mind and you would surrender your cares to Him. I pray right now for chains to break in the name of Jesus and that you will rise with faith. I pray for a spirit of boldness that you will suit yourself with the armor of God and fight back with the word of God. I pray against the spirit of depression, suicide, and self-hatred and that God will intervene in your life right now and you will feel His presence and for His love to overwhelm you and flush out every negative word and seed that was sown in Jesus name, Amen!
Whew, I just love Jesus. He is so sweet and beautiful!
Thank you for taking the time out to read my blog. I pray it blessed you and you were encouraged to pick up the Sword and fight back. Also, to share some exciting news, I will be hosting an online bible study starting February 7th at 7:30 pm and every Tuesday in February. I’m excited because for a long time I’ve been wanting to host a bible study, but I let a lot of stuff… some irrelevant, hold me back but not anymore. I heard a sermon titled, A Focused Anointing on YouTube (I’ll post the link below), and God used that sermon to motivate me to move forward with my talents and gifts and to use what He has given me. So one of the things was to start a bible study with ladies so we can encourage one another and walk this journey together for a season or more. To build a community where you don’t have to walk this journey alone, but have other sisters in Christ pursuing God with you. Please email me your name and number at email@example.com if you would like to participate and I will follow up with you. If you would like prayer, you can email me as well. Thanks again for taking the time to read what was on my heart! I hope you have a blessed and warm evening. Love you guys!
A Focused Anointing by David Hernandez: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBvzpobgE2M